Dad and The Breastfeeding Baby

Abah…abah..abah…sikit sikit abah…waked up jer abah..kalo abah tidor lagi siaplah Aina bising abah..abah..abah…rasanya dalam satu hari dia panggil mama…aderlah dua tiga kali jer tu pun time nak ngempeng..tidor and nenen..selebihnya abah..abah …abah..
Anak perempuan nie lebih close dgn abah dia ker?tapi tak jugak Aina nie ikut mood gak..time dia nak ngan mama…cam tak nak lepas…..sebab dia nie kaki ngempeng(dalam istilah jawa)dalam bahasa harian(BF sambil baring)hhehe.Selalunya baby yg BF nie close sgt ngan mum dia kan…even Aina close bangat ngan mama dia nie…alhamdulilah..ngan Abah dia pun close..sebab mama dia selalu tinggal depa berdua terutamanya kalo ader class.Alhamdulilah sejak akhir2 nie ilmu parenting hubby ku tu,dah menampakkan kemajuan..esp time cuci poo poo.

Dad and the Breastfeeding Baby
by Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC

During this time of transitions, breastfeeding affects family dynamics. Although many couples choose breastfeeding in part for the “closeness” it brings, they are often unprepared for the intensity of this physical link between mother and baby. Nursing is more than feeding; it is an act of intimacy. Breastfeeding hormones relax the mother and heighten her sensitivity to her child, evoking an intense desire to respond to his cries. The nursing baby experiences his mother through all five of his senses, finding security and comfort as well as milk at his mother’s breasts.

Since the new father lacks this intense physical link and natural source of comfort, what does this mean to his relationship with his baby? In recent studies, fathers of breastfeeding babies report feelings of frustration and inadequacy because they were unable to easily comfort their babies during their wives’ absence. When they realized their relationship with their baby was different from their wives’, they felt a sense of loss. Even so, the fathers continued to support breastfeeding because of its many health and emotional benefits. Those who wanted to be most actively involved with their babies reassured themselves that this difference “wouldn’t last forever” and found other ways to be involved in their babies’ care. Rather than attempting to duplicate the breastfeeding relationship, they found that they could develop their own unique relationship with their children.

In some fathers, though, feelings of frustration and inadequacy cause them to back off and become even less involved in their baby’s care, leading to resentment and jealousy at their wives’ absorption with the baby. Some fathers perceive the mother-baby bond as a threat.

The adjustment that comes with having a child takes effort and understanding. Instead of allowing misunderstandings about each other’s feelings to create a rift, I would suggest that both partners explore and acknowledge their own–and each other’s–emotional responses, while at the same time adopting an attitude of, ‘How can I be of greatest help in our relationship and our family?'”

No matter how his baby is fed, each new father has an important choice to make. Will he allow himself to feel left out and become a bystander in his baby’s care? Or will he take an active role in developing a positive relationship with his baby?

The relationship between father and child is intimately linked to the emotional health of the whole family. The couples’ relationship will be affected, as well as the mother’s ability to meet her own needs. When a mother has confidence in the father’s good relationship with their baby, she will feel freer to take the time she needs for herself. And when she sees her baby and his father happy together, it makes her feel even better about her partner.

2 Responses to “Dad and The Breastfeeding Baby”

  1. anamiraa Says:

    mamaaina,
    i wish my kids semua macam tuh! at least bolehlah akak rehat sikit. depa macam tak layan sangat ayah dia. kalau ada memang ok, tapi kalau tak ada pun depa takdelah merengek2 mintak ayah. tapi semuanya clinging sesangat dengan kat akak. letih weh!

  2. Bonda^Aina Says:

    sis Ana,
    maybe my hubby kahwin di usia yg lewat n kawan2 dia semua dah 2/3 org anak dia pulak baru sorang nie tu lah sebab dia terlalu close ngan Aina

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